TWAS THE DAY OF THE RECALL

'Twas the day of the recall and all through the city,
The people were voting Jane out without pity.
Neither blizzard, nor ice, nor new-fallen snow
Could save Jane now. 'Twas her time to go.
Even the Supreme Court said Jane had 'no merit.'
They voted unanimously to declare it.

Jane never gave up, though her hopes were fleeting.

She went to her house and she called for a meeting,

Now Jane was still weary from a long winter’s night

Of  tearing down ev’ry recall sign in sight,

While visions of vengeance danced ‘round in her head.

She was wishing that Nicholas Basham was dead.

Her CAVE People faithful soon came for their mayor.

They opened things up with the CAVE person prayer.

Our Mayor, who art on Dorman,
Madam, be thy name.
Thy queendom come; thy will be done,
in Portsmouth as it is in Kentucky.

Give us this day our daily meds.

And bless all of our recalls,
but don't forgive those who recall against us.

Lead us not to Penn Station;
but deliver us some pizza.

For thine is the queendom,
and the power to be mayor for ever.

Awoman.

After the meeting, she hooked up a sled,

Not with reindeer, but CAVE People pulling instead.

She cracked a big, bullwhip and  looked so insane

We all knew in a moment it had to be Jane.

Swarming down Dorman, her minions, they came,

She cursed and she grumbled and called them by name.

“Now, Leedom! Now Doyle! Now Mollettes and Daubs!

On, Jynxie, on Beaumont, if you still want your jobs!

Now up to the porches, deliver these flyers.

But only to those who don’t know that we’re liars.

Get on Topix and Moe’s. Spread my message some more,

To the perverts and meth addicts looking for whores.

Away to your duties, you must fly like a flash.

And where is Lee Scott? He promised me cash.”

Then, Mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my coat,

We suddenly realized we’d forgotten to vote.
We got dressed and got into the car in a hurry,

Today was our last chance to get rid of Murray.

Soon we were entering our polling place,
And found ourselves staring down Jane face-to-face.
She was dressed in a pant-suit from her head to her foot.

Out of her ears billowed hot steam and soot.

Her eyes, so dilated. Her dimples, so scary.

Her hair was so spiky, she looked like a fairy.

“You can’t vote to recall me. In fact, I forbid it.

This town is corrupted. The good old boys did it.”

From the glare in her eyes and the things that she said,

I was convinced I had something to dread.

But Mamma, she’s a brave one. She wouldn't back down.
“We read all about you on P-Town Underground.”
When Jane heard those words, it caused her to pause.
She looked like the witch on the Wizard of Oz.

December 7, 2010

She started to melt, and her flesh--it just boiled.

“Curses,” she said. “My schemes are all foiled.”

She melted away in a cloud of black smoke,
And those were the last words that Jane ever spoke.

We rushed to the booth to make our selection

And await the results of this crucial election.

Now we all can exclaim on this wonderful night,

"Merry Christmas to all." And to Jane, just "Good night."